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Spiders…. eek!

Driving up to the school to pick MiniObsi up… I look in my passenger side mirror as I’m backing up… and I see a big hairy spider clinging to the mirror…  EEK!  So I contemplate jumping out of the car and screaming (coz that’s what brave adult women do in situations such as this, isn’t it?!? :D)…. or sitting put, since I’m relatively safe inside.  I decide to pretend I’m nonchalant and get out my book and try to read….. while trying not to have a heart attack or hyperventilate…

Unable to read, however, since I have to keep a constant watch of the spider to make sure it’s still there and not launching some sort of attack – BUT… at the same time not being able to actually *look* at the spider, since it’s horrible and creepy and just looking at it through squinted eyes makes my skin crawl and my heart pound…

So I’m doing the squinty look, try to read a bit, squinty look again…. and I become aware that the spider is moving slightly, but not going anywhere… almost swaying in the breeze type thing…. I (bravely) open my eyes to take a proper look… it’s moving as if breathing!  rhythmic slight swaying….  It’s hanging on by 2 legs, the others curled up in front….Weird…. I guess spiders breathe, but I’d never really thought about it, nor wanted to watch one long enough to see it… (and still don’t)…  and it looks… odd… like it’s sort of curled up in a ball… foetal position-like…  is it hurt?  is it twitching in it’s sleep…. what the hell is going on with it? (and what the hell do I care? it’s a smegging spider!!!  GET OFF MY CAR!)

So I resume my squinty check/read/squinty check routine…. this time being brave/curious enough to every now and then take an un-squinted look….  still breathing/swaying…. but it’s changed a bit…. elongated kinda?.. and curled up more… and it’s swaying is getting more vigorous….  Then it elongates more…. and I realise it’s actually 2 SPIDERS!  …… and it obviously wasn’t breathing or swaying… they were getting it on!

EWWW

No… these guys didn’t just want an audience (of school children mind you!), they wanted the whole mirrored ceiling deal….. showoffs!

So then they seemed to have finished their thing, and I swear one spider must have had it’s legs inside the other or something, because when I first looked, it just looked like one big hairy spider, and somehow while I was watching, it became 2…. I’d have thought one birthed the other if they weren’t both the same size (and I know spiders lay eggs)….  Eww…. just EWWWWW!

So they are both just hanging there, motionless now in their post coitus afterglow ….or something… and that’s enough for me, since now I have 2 ruddy great spiders taking up the majority of my side mirror, and even though I’m a car width away in the drivers seat, with sturdy glass between us, that’s entirely too close for my liking…. so I grab my handbag and get out of the car… Seriously contemplating walking home and letting hubby come back to get the car later…

So by now the bell had gone too and I stood by the end of the car, wondering if I should ask some brave stranger to get rid of it…  MiniObsi comes up and I tell her of the problem…  we discuss our options.  She first suggests getting the sport teacher to come get it…. I have a small amount of pride and asking the sports teacher that all the other mums think is hot (personally he doesn’t do it for me) to come flick 2 spiders off my car…. not going to happen….  So her second suggestion is to go get a 6th grader to come and bravely flick it off….  what remaining dignity I have would be completely crushed by asking a child to save me…. no thank you… Had the sports teacher been around, I would have been open to the idea, but going searching for him, and leaving the car, not appealing….. so we discuss leaving the car and walking home….  She’s all for that idea… I’m not so convinced, see… I had things to post, and above all – what happens if hubby collects it and the spiders are gone?  Are they now *in* the car?, or did they jump off and go their merry way?  I couldn’t get back in the car knowing they could be inside…. no….

😦

MiniObsi helpfully decides to go off in search of a stick… (there is a tree’ed area in the school which is apparently a good stick fetching spot)  “A VERY LONG STICK!”  I call out after her… you know… like ideally a 10foot branch 😀  She comes back with a stick, about as long as my arm…  Not nearly long enough!….  I send her back…  she comes back with one about twice that.  That will have to do…  So then she goes “can I do it?” – OMG YES!!!!!  but then she chickens out (bugger)  I try to persuade her to, but she refuses, damnit, I contemplated using my parental powers to force her too, but not even I am that mean…. I have to do the brave parent thing….  *sigh*

So I’m standing there, trying to stay as far back as humanly possible, I’m standing on one leg, on tiptoe, reaching out as far as I can, holding the stick at the *very* end….and I (bravely!) flick the spiders off the mirror onto the nature strip…. Thankfully they just drop, and don’t move (and thankfully they didn’t run up the stick and onto me!)

Not wanting to wait around,  I….. (and you have to read this bit quick) drop the stick – open the back door – throw MiniObs’s bag in – scream ” get in” – race around to my side – hear her door close – drive forward a car length (so that hopefully the spiders can’t have run up to the wheels and jumped on in that time {coz they would totally do that I’m sure!  spiders are EVIL like that}) – wait while we put our belts on and I drive off….

Phew!

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2 thoughts on “Spiders…. eek!

  1. I’m wondering if they were in behind the mirror originally and that’s why you could only see one?

    We have a little spider in my hubby’s driver side mirror, he’s fine there as long as he doesn’t jump at me. He caught a bee the other day and couldn’t get it back in behind the mirror – not enough space. I moved the mirror (couldn’t see a thing out of it!) so he had more space to get it in there. LOL

  2. No, I actually watched them disengage…. the bottom/back one was the one holding onto the top of the mirror with 2 legs, and was pulling it’s legs out – slowly – from somewhere that I hadn’t been able to see them before…. the front one must have been all curled up with all it’s legs out in front… I’d assumed it was holding on with 2 legs and the others out the front – I hadn’t stopped to count if it had 6 or 8 legs there (and it was against a mirror, so of course the reflection obscured things), but definitely not 2 spiders worth….

    and they were in the middle of the mirror, so not like one could quickly have darted out….

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